Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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1 error prohibited this post from being saved There were problems with the following fields: * Body can't be blank

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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