This is a joke.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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pudding

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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