Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

like this or you will die at some point in your life

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

HEY!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops