John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops