Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops