An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops