Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops