Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops