Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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