How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Ehh

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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pudding

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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