What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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