Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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