Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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