So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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