Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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