What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

joe galasso from plainview ny

How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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