How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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Tall asians

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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