Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

homosexual

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

Miscarriages.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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