ur mum

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops