Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a lamp?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops