Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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Hello everyone, if you couldnt tell, the most popular joke was removed because it wasnt even an antijoke, if you have a joke that isnt an antijoke, post it somewhere else, if you dont know what an antijoke even is then get the f*ck out, thumbs up if you agree with me

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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bite me

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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