- Anti Joke

What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Donald Trump

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

Women's Rights