How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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Please ignore this statement.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops