What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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No it doesnt..

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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