i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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What's big and purple? Barney

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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SEX

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops