What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

neil likes pube toast

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

What is 33 + 1? Penis

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...