Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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