What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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hi

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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8

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops