Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -21

-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Turkeys are obese

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops