A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops