#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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