Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops