Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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What did Geoar Bush say after a journalist ask what he was going to do about Katrina? Where gonna find her we do think she has some connection with Alkida .

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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i like turtles

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops