- Anti Joke

Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

Knock knock. ... ... after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

What is duke oxtoby? legend.

B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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