Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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Tall asians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops