What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

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Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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