A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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France had one revolution

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What do I hate? people

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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wanna hear a joke womens rights

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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