when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops