Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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