Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Pickles are powerful

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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