How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

your skull would make a nice pen holder

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where's the soap?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops