So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

RUN

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats 1+1? window!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops