So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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How old are you? 7

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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What did the Rabbit say to the horse? They are both completly differebt species and cannot communicate. Therefore, the rabbit said nothing.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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