When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Women's rights.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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