Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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like most people my age. im 27

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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there was once a jew

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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