A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Kobe Bryant passing the ball

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You tell me. I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

noah is a scrub jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops