Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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what are three short words? i a am

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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