Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops