One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Barack Obama.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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