What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops