Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down -34

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

thumb_up thumb_down -36

like this or you will die at some point in your life

thumb_up thumb_down -36

DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

thumb_up thumb_down -36

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops