Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

poopy is poopy

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops