roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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69

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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No antijoke here.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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