Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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