What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is your name? My name is Jeff

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops