chuck norris is a little b|tch

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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45.

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Womens Sports

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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P0P T4Rt

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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