What's 6+2? 16

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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62

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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...Jack Vale

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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