What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

thumb_up thumb_down -33

There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Five guys one rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Oh...okay, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Who's better than badboy? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops