Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Womens rights.

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women's rights

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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