Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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I love you.

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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The

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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