- Anti Joke

The Bible

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

87

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

what rhymes with sloth? rape

To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

9/11.

What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

mitt romney

whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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